Let go of expectations
When I say this, I mean two things. First, I mean letting go of the unrealistic expectations that you set for yourself. Did anyone else use to think about the future when you were sixteen and think graduating from college was going to mean your life suddenly fell into place and everything would be perfect? It was a bit of a harsh reality check for my naive sixteen year old self when I realized last year that being a college graduate didn’t mean my life became everything I wanted it to be overnight. Accepting this took a little bit of time, but I think this was one of the most important things I’ve learned.
The second meaning is letting go of other people's expectations of you. This is such a difficult thing to do, but something that it is absolutely imperative. I’m very lucky to be surrounded by really supportive people, but I know this isn’t the case for everyone. Feeling like you have to live up to another person’s expectations of you can be a lot of pressure and can eventually lead to feelings of unhappiness and resentment. It’s important to learn to be okay with doing what makes you happiest, even if it doesn’t match up with what someone else wants for you. At the end of the day, you only get to live this life once. Don’t waste any time doing anything other than exactly what you want for yourself.
“Comparison is the thief of joy”
This is something I still definitely struggle with, but consciously try to be better at. Everyone does things at a different pace, and everyone has a different path in life. Try not to let someone else’s accomplishments overshadow your own happiness. This phase of life is really the first time that all your peers are no longer on the same page. Some of your friends move away to new cities, some move back home. Some get married, some have kids. Some go on to complete more schooling, some launch a business. Because everyone's paths become so varied after college, it’s easy to compare your life to theirs, and think that you’re not measuring up. It’s only human to have these thoughts sometimes, but the key is to not let those thoughts trick you into thinking you’re less than. It’s something you definitely have to practice to get better at, but learning that comparing yourself to someone else will never result in anything positive, is a really valuable lesson.
Nobody has it figured out
This is also something that took me a long time to really understand. I think of it like social media being a highlight reel. We all tend to portray the best possible versions of ourselves, it’s just what humans do. For a long time I felt like I was the only one that didn’t know what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. Looking back on it, I think so many of us feel this way at this age, but nobody really talks about it. It’s perfectly fine to have no idea what you’re doing, and to admit that. I think a lot of us adopt the “fake it till you make it” attitude, and that can be misleading. Everyone goes through periods of self doubt, even the people that you think have it all figured out.
Being afraid to fail isn’t a good excuse not to start
Olivia and I have always both really enjoyed writing. I think we both look at it as a creative outlet and way to express ourselves. We also share a lot of common interests, and tend to like similar things. We started talking about launching a lifestyle blog last summer, but really procrastinated on it for a long time. I’ll only speak for myself when I say this, but the root of my procrastination really stemmed from being afraid to fail. I was scared people wouldn’t care what I had to say, and my life wasn’t perfect, so maybe it wouldn’t matter to anyone. Although we’ve just started, this experience has truly been eye opening and inspiring. We took a concept and actually materialized it. We’re putting time and effort into something we’re passionate about and love to do. It’s really made me realize that if you have something that excites you to wake up in the morning, you have to chase that. You might not always succeed, but you’ll never know unless you start.
Take risks and try new things
After graduating, I started working in a field that has almost nothing to do with my major. However, I have learned SO much from my current position, and have gained foundational skills that I can take with me wherever I may go in my career path. I’ve met so many truly remarkable people that I feel lucky I get to interact with every day. My decision was totally out of left field compared to what I thought I’d do after graduating, but I’m so incredibly grateful that I tried something that was out of the box for me. I truly believe you should try things that aren’t conventional in life.
Twenty two is so young
Okay this is obvious, but really think about it. If you’re twenty something years old, you probably haven’t even lived a quarter of your life yet. Think about your life from 0-20. Now think about the fact that you probably have the chance to live that span of time three more times. I’m not sure if anyone is a Gary Vee fan (check him out, he's amazing), but I always have really liked the way he explains this age/phase of life. To summarize, he basically says that if you’re in your twenties, you’re not even at half time yet. And even when you get to the age of “half time” you still have half the game left. You could be fifty and literally reinvent yourself, start a new career, create a business, and still have so much time.
I figured I would pop in a photo from my actual graduation ceremony that I took with one of my best friends. I met Julia freshman year of college, and she is a lifelong friend and one of my absolute favorite people. I so clearly remember taking this picture, and thinking “WTF am I supposed to do now?” Although I still feel that way from time to time, I’m proud of who I have become in the past year. There’s always more learning and growing to do, and I look forward to adding more life lessons to this list some day.
