Raise your hand if you and your group of girlfriends have planned a thousand trips you want to take together, but you never end up following through. With the logistics of planning a week long getaway with a group who all have very busy lives, this was a trap myself and four of my childhood best friends had fallen into. It seemed almost impossible that there would be a week that would work for everyone’s schedule. But, knowing that all of our twenty-fifth birthdays were fast approaching, I decided we all really needed this trip, and felt determined to pull it off.
A few months back, I apprehensively drafted a text to send to our group chat. I explained that I refused to turn twenty-five in the midst of a quarter life crisis, single, and in the dead of a Boston winter. I proposed a tropical vacation to celebrate all of our birthdays, but I knew it wouldn’t be easy for a few reasons: Becca living halfway across the country in Montana; Kayla in the trenches of her first year of medical school; Courtney recently earning her real-estate license and buying her first home, and Nicole working a full-time job, completing her Master’s degree, and being the mother of a soon to be two-year-old. Needless to say, I wasn’t exactly expecting my proposal to be well received, but I was cautiously optimistic. I held my breath and hit send. I quickly realized that the consensus from the group was that the trip was a perfect idea, and just like that, we were booking our flights to Carolina, Puerto Rico.
This trip was the first time since high school that we all were able to spend quality time together for an entire week. We ignored all of the responsibilities we left back home, and were totally carefree. We spent the days on the beach, playing in the ocean like we were kids again. We had dance parties on the furniture to our favorite Justin Bieber songs. We got drunk at dinner and played “Never Have I Ever” an embarrassing amount of times. We laughed about all of our cringe-worthy college stories and walks of shame. Most of all, we completely reconnected more than we ever have.
This trip meant so much to everyone and was a celebration of a landmark birthday for all of us. We were there celebrating the same year of life, however, the trip truly made me realize that even though we’re all the same age, we’re in totally different stages of life. When you’re as close as we are and the same age, it’s easy to trick yourself into believing you should all be in the same place and have the same things accomplished. I approached my twenty-fifth birthday feeling so far behind in life in some aspects and too far ahead in others. I felt like I hadn't seen enough of the world and questioned where I was and what I wanted to achieve in the year to come.
After spending quality time with four of the people on this earth that know me the best, I realized that we are all in totally different parts of life. Not just me and my friends, but every twenty-something, and I realized that’s a really beautiful thing. We’re all trying to figure out what we want, what makes us happy, and how to be okay with where we are at this moment. I realized that your twenties are really about self-discovery, and it shouldn’t be looked at as a race. Nobody is ahead of or behind anyone else. I have my friends to thank for that epiphany.
Our girls trip was special for a lot of reasons. The week that we were away fell on two of our birthdays, as well as the anniversary of Becca’s dad’s passing. Becca and I grew up next door to each other so her dad was a second father to me and all of us girls. We were all together celebrating our seventeenth birthdays the day he passed eight years ago. Since moving away to college, this trip was the first year we were all able to spend this day together. For this reason and many more, I wanted to write a speech to share with the four of them. I wanted to reiterate the importance of our friendships and how lucky we are to have grown up together and remain best friends. We all sat on the beach in a circle as I read my speech through endless laughs and tears. I thought I would include part of what I shared with the girls on that last night.
So, on the days where you look back and think how the hell did I get here, or what am I doing with my life, or ponder the what ifs that never seem to go away, I hope you all remind yourselves of this trip and everything it means. I hope you think about the countless sleepovers we’ve had, the secrets we’ve kept, the fact that our roots are the same when it comes down to it, that we are blessed to all love the same (almost) two year old, and most of all, lucky enough to share the same guardian angel.
Cheers to twenty-five and everything that got us here. Here’s to the next twenty-five together. Love you to pieces.
Out of all of our special moments together as friends, this is one I’ll never forget. We spent that last night together on the beach reminiscing on old memories, thanking each other for talking through this weird stage in life, and promising ourselves we would spend the rest of twenty-five making sure this feeling never goes away.
Thinking back on it, I had started out this trip hoping to have some feel-good girl time and drink enough piña coladas to forget about my quarter life crisis. But I ended up leaving with so much more. I left with such a strong feeling of connection to these four girls who have been there for me through all of life’s ups and downs. I left feeling more empowered in who I am, and the journey I’m on. I left feeling so grateful to know that I have a group of lifelong girlfriends who support each other through everything. And even though all of our lives have less in common than they used to, we still all share the common thread that we love, care, and support each other to the ends of the Earth.
I think it goes without saying, but drop everything and book a girls trip.